May Missions

Connections Created to Confirm My Course + Calling

Stuffed between school + other summer responsibilities were a few lonely weeks that I couldn’t stand to leave free — I saw that time as prime opportunity for me to go somewhere or serve somehow, so I reached out to my pastors at church to see if they could find anything for me in their plethora of connections… and long story short, I got confirmation about a week before leaving that I would be going to a church in Georgia for the month (note: if you remember my past blogs about Mexico, Denver, my desire for control, etc., then you know this going-blindly-without-expectations thing was a huge work God has done in my heart). Since I didn’t have set expectations for what I would be doing during my time there, I had no idea that God would use me in the ways that He did; teaching me more about myself, preparing me for my future, and challenging a well-established church to look at things from new perspectives for the furtherance of the Gospel + God’s Kingdom.
 
Upon my arrival + having initial conversations, I vaguely knew that I would be helping with the students ministry + discipleship, as well as with college + young adults outreach, VBS planning, and really whatever anyone else needed at any point. Also, in hindsight, MUCH of my time was spent meeting with people + building relationships or serving in mundane ways, that may not all be mentioned here. The Lord was seriously working in me during the past few weeks + that is evident in the short stories that I will recount below. One major realization that I had was the way God speaks to me through making connections. Ever since I started studying the Word for myself, I have said that “the coolest thing is making connections across the Bible” — whether it be specific phrasing, paralleled themes, or just the consistency of our God from Genesis to Revelation; I loved how it all connected! As I tell about the things that I have been doing + the takeaways that I have been learning, you will see how God used connections between random events, or conversations, or readings to bridge various pieces together. (Warning: if you CTRL+F the word “connections” it will probably show up 100+ times by the end of this blog 😉).

Day 1:

• The main takeaway from today was not a great one, but a real one. I was obviously confronting some spiritual warfare: when I was younger, I dealt with a lot of fear, worry, and paranoia, which my deeper understanding of + relationship with God dissipated completely. However, one conversation this first evening centering around social + political conspiracies sent my fearful, paranoid thoughts into overdrive, causing me to be on edge + overwhelmed. I called people who were close to me + we prayed…

Day 2:

• I woke up the next morning to begin my quiet time with the Lord, where I am currently reading through Nehemiah. I began where I left off previously — Nehemiah 6. Go ahead + read that chapter now for yourself. Did you catch that? The enemy uses fear against Nehemiah! But Nehemiah did not succumb to this; he used godly discernment to know truth from that which was “intended to do [him] harm,” he trusted God’s Word + promises, he relied fully on prayer. And what was the outcome? The enemies “were afraid and fell greatly in their own esteem, for they perceived that this work had been accomplished with the help of our God”!
• Secondly, I was already facing feelings of doubt + not being good enough to get anything done in the short few weeks that I am here, but Nehemiah 6:15 shows us how God uses a man to fix a huge, historic problem in 52 days. We have such limited minds + views of how God can use us — He is God of the universe!!

Bonnie

Day 3:

• I got coffee with Bonnie (the wonderful woman, + her husband Adam, who I had the privilege of staying with!!) and a college-aged girl to discuss her future plans + career path. The main takeaway from that conversation was to be available in seeking how to use the gifts, skills, opportunities that God has given us, and saying yes to them when they arise.
• After that, Bonnie took me over to meet Amy who is a single mother of 4 girls on the rise from abusive relationships, addictions, medical issues, financial instabilities, etc. I got to hear her story, pray with her, then discuss how I could help her… Bonnie + Amy have been praying for 2 years for a nutritionist to come into their lives to help Amy in her walk away from her addictions + hospital/medical history; and the night before I arrived + opened my mouth to tell Bonnie what it was that I studied in school, they had prayed this same prayer. I sat there in her house + thought: Wow, God. Thank you for giving me this time in my life + for making myself available. Because I said yes to pursuing a path unknown, the Lord has used me in answering another person’s prayer.
• This evening was my first night with the middle/high school students for their youth service. I ended up meeting Charissa, who shared with me many of the struggles she faced in her young life + I got to pray with her before the night was over. ​

Day 4:

• Continuing with this theme of making myself available + discerning where God was leading in each moment of each day, I randomly walked into the tail-end of a “Coffee with a Cop” event at the cafe. I ended up having conversations that led to a connection with their health coordinator for the police department. With Bonnie’s help + advice, we began brainstorming what this encounter could have in store — TBA…
• This evening was when the college group met. I immediately connected with Blakeney + the paralleled details of our lives + interests were TOO cool to be coincidence. So we made plans to hang out the next day + talk it all through some more, since it was the ONE day she was off work in who-knows-how-long — no coincidence, of course.

Day 5: 

• Blakeney + I went to Atlantic Station today, which was so confirming for both of us in our personal walks, as well as in parts where I had been that I could speak into for her + vice versa. Further, the intricate timing in the details of her testimony are attributable to only God, which was overjoying for me to delve into + glean from.
• On Friday evenings, the church hosts a ministry called OneWay for support against addictions + strongholds. The format is to “talk, talk, talk”: in prayer, worship, praise; then in small groups; then in the Word + a testimony. In that testimony, a phrase stuck out to me: “We serve a God of details” — based on these interactions + conversations I’ve had, Amen!

Day 6:

• Went to the town’s farmers market + had many good conversations; one particularly with three kids who were working their mom’s stand at the time I came by. The one girl’s name was Gabby — remember this name for later…
• Then I went to the cafe to sit in on a girls group discipleship. They chatted about life + also dug into reading/making observations through the book of John. one of those observations brought up was the question, “how does the Lord speak to us/you?” We bounced around thoughts + input, but this question sat in my mind for a bit longer...

Day 7:

• Bonnie shared with me a takeaway she had while sitting out on the porch this morning: she was peacefully drinking her coffee while listening to a bird that was chirping + singing, yapping + squawking — it was making such beautiful, loud noise, but then it flew away + the area was immediately silenced. She noticed how much impact + joy that one little voice can have on an area. We are called to be that shining light + singing lungs to the world on Christ’s behalf. In essence, “we need to squawk!”
• There was an evening “heart to heart” talk at the church led by the lead pastor to discuss the past year, the current circumstances, and where the church is headed. What hit my heart most in each of these categories is the urgency, need, appetite for the Gospel + evangelism -- we need to squawk!

Day 8:

• This morning was slow + sweet in conversation with Adam + Bonnie, circling around conversations of being inquisitive, curious, asking questions in our pursuit of the Lord rather than passively absorbing + repeating platitudes. This type of questioning does not show that one is doubting God, but rather that they are truly seeking + being strengthened in understanding Him. Another topic we landed on was “how does the Lord speak to us?” For Bonnie, it is through nature. I immediately thought that nature applied to me as well, then after reading our joint devotional (see next bullet) + as I was talking about how I loved making connections in Scripture, I realized… OH, that is how the Lord communicates to me — by making connections!
• Prior to this, I randomly decided to deviate from Nehemiah + I found myself reading 1 Kings 19. Here I saw that we are not only to live by + rely on prayer for our sustenance — as Gnostics may believe — but God sustains us also by practical, physical means. Then when I read the devotional for the day that I began with Bonnie + Amy to aid her in her journey of wellness, I got to the bottom of the introduction where it stated that it would be going through the life of Elijah in 1 Kings 19!

Day 9:

• Today I met with the woman at the police department to talk about the programming she was leading in the city + inquiring what health initiatives we could create between the church + the community. I noticed early on the plethora of health services that the church offered including a recreation center with fitness classes, open gyms, cardio/weight rooms; counseling services; the free clinic; etc. So, I began to pursue the idea of hosting a health fair with booths + activities to educate people, promote whole-body wellness, and connect individuals with resources at the church. My mindset of missions has been built to recognize the role of being a missionary anywhere you are + in any vocation you hold (i.e. you do not have to be a “missionary” by title + live somewhere foreign to “be on mission”). This is the kind of “missions” I wanted to pursue — one where I used the place + position that I was in, regardless of how mundane, to bring glory to God + connect others to Him through it. I literally would never have guessed that the Lord would have me serving on mission at a church in Georgia to be organizing a health fair + teaching a woman about nutrition — this time I have is not just for service + volunteering; and it is for sure not wasted. He is preparing me!

Day 10:

• Bonnie + I went to IKEA with Charissa, just to go on an “outing” with her; spending + sharing time. It was a rewarding afternoon, as I got to know more about her. Honestly, she is truly perplexing: she is an eighth grader who is a bit mentally immature, but her gauge on spirituality is exceptionally strong. For example, no one in her family, none of her friends, no one in her neighborhood (all according to her) do not want anything to do with church, yet she has some strong desire in her to go to church so she begs someone in one of those three categories to take her to church. Why is that? Because she “doesn’t want to sin anymore.” I was able to answer questions she had, walk through the Gospel + sanctification, pray with her. 
• The students' youth group was this evening. As I went with Charissa, it began to settle in just how badly these students — the Church (big “C”) — needs intentional discipleship. On Wednesday nights specifically here, there is a room full of adults who help out by serving + checking in students, yet none of them seek out or pour into these kids! They sit at the check-in table chaperoning. There is so much lost opportunity here — and every day in every church — for people to invest in others + minister to them + build trusting, loving relationships with them. My heart is really broken for this; for the first step in sharing the hope of Christ + for the second step of discipling them through their walk.
• Oh yeah, and who did I run into tonight? Gabby. Yep, from the farmers market.

Day 11:

• Met again with the woman at the police department to plan logistical details for the health fair to be held this summer. Then, I got together with Amy for a mini cooking demonstration. Previously, she did not eat a single vegetable + maybe 2-3 fruits, so my goal was to teach her some sneaky tricks to hide leafy greens in something that tasted good. We started out with smoothies containing spinach, carrot, fruit, peanut butter — her first reaction was a turned up nose at the green color, but as she lifted it to her lips, I visibly saw things click in her… “I’m kinda mad how much I like this. Wow, I can’t believe I just ate green!” I empowered her to pursue healthiness in the same way that she put an end to her addictions — by not wanting to destroy the body God had given to her. So, I printed out verse images of 1 Corinthians 3:16-17 + 1 Timothy 4:4 as refrigerator reminders.
• I met with Pastor Tee that afternoon who is head of the college + young adults. Our meeting didn’t go to (his) plan at all, but God led us exactly to what we needed apparently… he asked me what the Lord had been teaching me recently, so I shared about how the Lord used Nehemiah 6 to speak to the fear/paranoia that was creeping in. I gave him a summary explanation, but he wanted to read it firsthand, so I grabbed the Bible + flipped right to the page of Nehemiah 6 upon opening — I don’t know how often that happens to you, but it was pretty cool + Tee knew “God is trying to tell me something from this!” As I read the chapter aloud, pieces were evidently standing out with the situation that I had described, but Tee was speechless because it was directly applicable + speaking to his current situation as well in his recent struggle with fear + the enemy’s attack. Basically, at the end of our meeting, we both had shed quite the amount of tears in prayer + praise of our God who is wild, wise, good, gracious.

Day 12:

• Today I got together with Charissa + also invited another eighth grade girl, Cheyannah, for her to get connected with. We went to the cafe + read some Scripture (side note/connection: the cafe is called the Fig Tree Cafe + both of them had recently read the fig tree parable in the gospels + were asking me about the significance of the name), we played Phase 10 + went to the park, then we went to Chick-Fil-A for ice cream.
• On the way home, Charissa opened up to me about the sins that she was struggling with + how she wants to repent but keeps making mistakes, which connected with that night's OneWay program teaching distinguishing worldly sorrow + true repentance; asking for forgiveness + taking steps to change.

Day 13:

• My parents + grandparents came to visit me! They also came by to meet Adam + Bonnie which was a sweet interaction of immediate bonding; only because of the love of Christ unifying us.

Day 14:

• Today was “graduate Sunday” at church recognizing the many high school + college graduates. We sang a worship song that talked about God turning graves into gardens + shame into glory. Then these lyrics were amplified + evidenced to me, as I later learned that the two men who were graduating from seminary with certificates in Biblical Ministry + Church Leadership were formerly in prison, and were brought to faith by individuals from the church while they were in jail. Further, this emphasized the takeaway from my family’s visit yesterday, that all people, from all backgrounds, and all stories are brought together + bonded together in worship, fellowship, community by the blood of Christ.
• The Pastor used an illustration in his sermon that was applied to people having a limited view of salvation, as a “get to Heaven” type of deal, which results in a limited view of God + us not pursuing anything beyond that exchange. But we serve an Almighty God of possibilities + miracles. This further spoke to my realizations of how God was using this empty, mundane, stuck season of my life to teach me + prepare me for what He has in store. In my own eyes, I cannot see beyond the apparent limitations, but by being in tune with, trusting in, believing in the God of immeasurably more, my doubts + distress + despair disappears. 

Day 15:

• I went out to eat with a family + met another high school girl who was being discipled by the woman. The girl was yearning for a job to work this summer, but I was used as an example by the woman to use the free time to serve, volunteer, experience different areas rather than working a job with requirements, responsibilities, schedules, busyness. When we are busy in our everyday routines + responsibilities, we miss out on what God could be showing us + growing us in. By coming here with open arms + no expectations, I have been offered the opportunity to completely stop, listen, rest, invest in God’s Word; to be completely in tune with His Spirit + leading.

Day 16:

• This morning I read the TableTalk devotion which is going through 1 Corinthians, and today specifically was through verses 12:8-11. The question of the difference between wisdom + knowledge stuck out to me because it was also a question I came across in reading Proverbs. TableTalk defined the gift of knowledge as "insight into the meaning of Scripture or revelation of facts that the recipient does not know." Then, I went to read Nehemiah 8, and I got stuck on verse 7-8 because it talks about the men that "helped the people to understand the Law"! This also made me think of the role of a pastor or teacher, and how that applies to my pastors back home + the pastor at this church in Georgia. If the goal of reading/preaching God's Word is for deeper understanding, then that means the people should not be walking away only getting or remembering some good life tips, amusing anecdotes, emotional feelings pushing them to go up to the altar or pray a prayer, or even to say "wow, that was a good message. he is a great preacher/speaker!" That's not the point! The point is to understand our God + His Law more deeply, in order to love Him more deeply, and draw closer to Him in understanding + fellowship.

Day 17:

• I woke up today + foolishly began working on other things before spending time with the Lord. This caused my thoughts + emotions to be extremely frantic + frustrated, resentful + unrestful, overwhelmed + not Christ-like. I prayed about this (in shameful tears). I told myself (+ Jay) that I would read my Bible when I got off the phone. Then once I finished getting ready, I was feeling the pull to get back into checking emails + doing my errands; I felt satisfied with just praying + singing some hymns for my quiet time. But I kept feeling this tug to open my Bible: “you know Jay is going to ask you what you took away from your reading.” “you know the Word always speaks to you, teaches you, guides you when you are feeling like this.” “you know God is trying to show you something that you need today” … ok Lord, I’ll read! I opened my Bible to the next part of Nehemiah where I had left off — Nehemiah 8:9 and following. It says, “... ’This day is holy to the Lord your God; do not mourn or weep.’” Wow. I was weeping tears of selfishness + sorrow, then I open up God’s Word that tells me to wipe it away because this day is holy to the Lord! Well, the tears are flowing now; No longer because of my overwhelmed + self-centered reasons, but because of how kind + magnificent + sovereign my God is!! Now, these are tears in awe: “‘For all the people wept as they heard the words of the Law’” (Nehemiah 8:9b)
• This evening, Charissa was facing major anxiety + depression, which comes moment to moment for her + which was being expressed towards me. I, moment by moment, prayed for patience + grace. This is a trend over the past several months of people coming into my life who deal heavily with anxiety + clinginess. To be honest with you, I am not the person to handle this, with my own stress + selfishness. But this coincidence — I clearly see, by the grace of God — is a way that He is growing me. I am to be molded into Christ’s likeness; to be empathetic, patient, gentle, gracious, loving.

Day 18:

• Today I read Nehemiah 8:9-12, along with commentary that pointed out “The people felt sad, because they were aware of their own sin. But they could walk in joy because God was doing a great work. Our emotions are not beyond our control; we can do God’s will even when we don’t feel like it.” All of those points… that was me yesterday! I was crying + overwhelmed because of my own selfishness, which made me more upset because I was aware of how sinful my emotions + reactions were. But my emotions are not beyond my control; they are not an excuse that I can use. I am in control of how I react to something, and by the Lord’s strength + mercy, He will enable me to overcome those. Lastly, I did not feel like doing God’s will for me in spending time with Him or drawing near to what would solve the emotional turmoil, but by forcing myself to do otherwise, I found Christ; I found His goodness + grace extended to me. I was aware of my great sin, but found an even greater Savior.
• I took Cheyannah + Charissa to the mall for Charissa’s birthday, which also ended up being a trying + sanctifying experience for me as communication was poor, I was left waiting around, things did not go to plan. Later, at college group that evening, I walked away from a brief mention of the Good Samaritan parable having connections for my interactions with these girls. In Luke 10:34, we see the Samaritan tend to the man’s immediate, physical needs (i.e. giving bandages, food), but he also sought to minister to his future good (i.e. passing him to someone else’s care, keeping up). I likewise have tended to some immediate needs + desires in their lives, I have shared the Gospel with them + addressed spiritual questions, I have paired them with other long-term individuals who can stick with them after I am gone. But what else was different about the Samaritan’s reaction compared to the priest or Levite? The Samaritan was OK with his journey (time, schedule, plans) being interrupted. 

Day 19:

• Home! 

If you have stuck through this blog post this far, you deserve congratulations! and a thank you! If you can believe it, this is a teeny recount of just the highlighted connections in each of my days, which barely skims the surface of my full day’s events. Regardless of all of the words + details, what I hope you take away from this is how incredible God is — how He moves + speaks to + teaches + touches + sanctifies us. 
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All of these connections confirm my calling unto Him + counsel me in the course He has for me ahead. ​